July 07, 2009

losing kool...

it wasn't the fact that he wore satin boxers with money graphic and scratches himself.....or him reminiscing of the 4 dollar mexican hooker- or the 10 dollar french one, while stationed in germany...it wasn't 'nam....it wasn't the same medical stories he liked to recite in graphic.....
it was when he talked about his ex wife who decided to stop breastfeeding their twin boys, at the age of two months, without his consent!
i found myself shaking from within suddenly, with throat sorta scratchy and eyes feeling hot. "u may have married her," i labored with pauses in each words, "but u do not own her body!" i was struggling to ease back...was bewildered at my reaction but couldn't seem to back off.
i can tell from his eyes and a little micro jerk from his head that he was about to say something...i pointed out my index towards his chest without touching, "don't. don't start something u couldn't possibly understand or finish." i wheezed. with that i turned and stalked off the room trying to calm the electrical cracklings of my nerves.

huh?!

my bestfriend was upset about a woman who had sex with a dog.
i am at a loss for words.....

picture of me

by pants

nice eyez


July 02, 2009

large-mouth

large-mouth bass planner caught last night.

July 01, 2009

the visitors

he talks about past surgery at the dinner table...his 300 some lbs wife talks about their sex life with panting, groaning, whimpering, sound effects...
-i'm thinking they must be joking....
but they've kept with this, everytime i've met them.
they like to bitch and moan of aches and pains-how many pills they must swallow, which kinds, what colors, what for, what times.....their horrible predicaments in life......about broken hearts, broken bones, broken home, kids, marriages, lovers, lives, cars, money etc.....everything seems so broken to pieces...to bits...broken the brokes and broke the brokens.....the raw end of the pole....the bad cards life have and had played them-and they say it matter-of-fact.....at times with trembling lips and glassy tearful eyes....'less they were stoned.....
i think they like this? i think perhaps they're stuck and venting would find their way out? i think i'm going to go insane!
it goes nowhere-and it seems like they've said these tales too many times before-with it's sometimes monotony and indifference.
how do they cope with it? how do they do it? how can they stand it.? i'm not in it, yet hearing it makes me want to hang myself.....
where is my compassion? ooops!-it flew out the window when i was eating my home-made red coconut curry shrimp over basmati rice, and he was talking about kidney stones and a wire, the doctor probed, up his penis to dislodge it.....

June 29, 2009

snails, anyone?



it's funny how pants, thugster and i would battle our garden snails continuously. we've been compassionate by relocating them. we've been smart by putting copper wire around the perimeter-and we've been sadistic by salting some....we've even invited local toads, tree frogs, birds over....

still, they come in abundance and flowers suffered.

yet in France..she told me they get dunked in salt to de-snot them....then they were cooked and served. she said they tasted like wet earth. pants suggested we gather our snails and send them over to her. sounds like a brilliant idea!
-this picture is of my sister in Paris...

orphan gurls

he threatened and cussed her behind his bruther's back...talking down, discouraging, scaring-as if to break her. she never told his bruther-they were newly married and she thought if she did, it would cause a rift between them all.
he left her secret messages saying how'd he kill her. he whispered to her that she was nuthing but a stoopid wortheless wench.
why?
he died awhile back leaving a dozen kids behind. the two youngest were girls, tossed and ignored thru step mothers.
they decided to take them as sole custody-knowing somewhat, how tough a job it would be. two angry little girls that's been abused mentally, emotionally, spiritually....angelic little gurls who knows only to use their fists-almost amusing until u see, that it is all they do and know....fight fight fight....especially each other.
she took them in, not just with her heart, and put them thru a private skool etc......
these are the kids from the man who used to whisper darkness into her heart. who made her shake in her stance-i know, i've seen her shake when she signs her own name. as if being her was not right, being her was not enough....being her does not matter.
this was his cause.
yet she opened her home to his kids...when her time to kick her feet up has been long overdue.
i wonder what that man thinks-if he can think at all, as he lay in his bed of earth.

da machine.



here it is....
my doorway to the virtual world. i've had it for almost a month now and have managed to lose and mess it up-then miraculously fixed it back again-the files and programs etc.....i've already threatened it a coupla times when i couldn't figure out how i can misplace programs.....
but in all, i am pleased...
for almost two weeks every day, my roomies and i watched all shorts of movies-having been deprived of tv for a coupla years. hah!
then i had to put a stop to it when we started developing achy stingy da machine eyez... what pathetic cavemen we are!
this is how sadly out of date i am....the week i bought this machine, i decided pants should have a walkman-that way i don't need to listen to her music...hehehehe....
i went to the store and i asked to see their walkmans (walkmen?). the store clerk stared at me confused, and i thought, oh, silly me! "i mean, can i see ur cd-man? cd-player thing-a-magiga?" the clerk looked at me uncertainly then she snapped her fingers as if a bulb went off.
"we don't use those any more...we now have i-pod and mp3." she showed me these tiny itty-bitty things
what?!
so there...she had to explain what they were and how they worked while i stood dumb-founded scratching my head and armpit...
hey, have u ever checked out pandora radio at http://www.pandora.com/ ? u log in there (free! whooopie-do!) and u type in a music artist or band that u like, and it'll play the songs plus other bands that are somewhat like that band....it's fantastic! i've been having a delicious time listening to music i have long since abandoned from loss, scratch, smash, melt, etc....
while we're in the subject of free stuff...there's also this fantastic site called http://www.filehippo.com/. i got my anti-virus there and other stuff. had to switch off my norton cuz it was attacking all my files as virus yet it let a trojan in without doing anything.-i downloaded AVG and Ad-Aware free (whoopiiie-do!) from the site-so far it's been doing great! (shouldn't i get paid for this?)
hehehehehe!
anyway, i'm glad whoever put out these freebies there. my toupee off to ya!
oh hey, any of u know how i can change the name to my blogger login and password? i've done it once during the dinosaur era and can't seem to remember how it's done....

June 27, 2009

the walking small person.



this picture makes me laugh! this baby looks too baby to be walking...
he looks like he knowz his business!

playing with fire...







...is so much fun!

'99 ol ' chrysler

i had warned him earlier in Spring that something smelled like it was burning under the hood. i warned him again when the ac quit.....and i had said "it's cold now so it's okay but comes summer, that car is gonna be trouble."
sure enough, 45 minutes away from home with temperature of 94 degrees blasting our scalps, sweating our brains and drenching sticky hot humid down our backs....the temperature gauge threatened to explode. he mumbled and grumbled about the cooling fans etc as if he just discovered it.-mebbe this is the way he processes information? it isn't there until it's there, eh?
we had to stop every now and then so he could beg and pray and beat at one (that only sorta works) of the two cooling fans that was dying, to go on...
we were amazed when we made it back.
oh, i love old cars that runs on faith....
but i'm not looking forward of putting a new cooling fans today at 97 degree!

June 25, 2009

oh where, oh where did my bloggers go?

so where did everybody go? my favorite bloggers seems to have just disappeared! i got this computer so i can read ur site, y'know?!?!? -okay, so it took me a loooong ass time to get this machine....it started with, had to get a job, had to save, had establish credit....blah-blah-blahs......
well whatever the reason, i hope you all are just happily occupied with something else.....

the garden...











...planner busy with the organics while our gazillion-year-old good neighbour watches... by the way, that gazillion-year-old neighbour grows the best and sweetest freakin' "peaches-n-cream" brand corn i have ever tasted!...it has just the right firm texture, once soaked in water and thrown on the grill....when u bite it, it pops between ur teeth and this sweet, fresh, somewhat juicy taste melts in ur tongue.

perfect!

i just came back from third shift, enjoying the sun and a little bit of red wine in the john deere mug. a good way to unwind although it's before noon. this is last year's pict. i've been smoke-free for months now!

i love this land.....







June 23, 2009

mean snake


this snake slittered onto the road but instead of going on it's way...it stopped and glared at us. planner thought it was a corn snake at first but it reared it's head when he came near it as if it was ready to spring out. i said, "looks too aggressive.....i don't think it's a good idea to go near it...."
planner hopped back in the car and we stared at it fascinated....it was about a 5" cotton-mout(?!) when we drove passed it real slow 'cuz it wouldn't get off the road, the snake started striking the car with it's fangs....it was thrilling and amusing.
glad it wasn't my leg!
three weeks later, i sat on that copperhead without knowing! glad it decided not to bite me arse!

meow-fish

pretty fish i caught off the lake after i freaked out 'cuz i had been sitting on these rocks and underneath me, was a copperhead with thickness the size of my wrist....yikes!

June 11, 2009

hooked at last

....so i finally got a computer....hahahahaha! i'm glad it was stupid-proofed to rig it on and i finally hooked myself into the web. perhaps i'll be zapped in the eyeballz and choked by the wires-ofcourse, i'd have a stoopid grin on my face.

November 12, 2008

bingo!

...so i went to this gas station to see if i can sell my plethora of outrageous hats.......and bead works.....50/50-and the lady said "sure!"
who knowz? i know 50/50 is steep but lets start off somewhere, eh?

October 15, 2008

soul friends

i went and met with one of my old friends today...the true rastah....it's so good to soak in some consciousness....i wish i can be around people like her more.
there's nuthin' in life like pure soul with hearts that emanates from not just their word, but thru their eyes, from their hearts. awwwwwww.....good vibration is music to the soul.

growing old...

do we become a lot more rigid and exclusive as we get older?

hehaw

so where have i been? where did u go?
i went to check on my favorite bloggers and u've been missing just as i have....are we growing up? becoming busy?.....perhaps these conversations we have with/in ourselves has now been sated with better company.
good then.
just to let ya know, my well honest excuse is cuz i have no access to this machine. i'm here borrowing from my cool sistah in law....and by tomorrow, i'll be heading out and back into the trees.
i still have conversations with myself (hehehehe)-just not typed. sometimes i'll write-the good ol' traditional way with the paper and pen.....remember that?
u know, i still write lengthy letters the old fashion way with lotsa scribblings on the sides....though my problem with that is, i'll write and write and forget to send it.
really, debbie!- i sweaz it!
i have piles of chattering in all the odd places.....best to read when u're in the loo waiting on yerself......
hey...pantless-though she stop running around nekid nowadays-got a birthday on sunday. she wants a unicorn.....
where in the world can one find a unicorn?
it's tickles me funny how i could remember to get into this site with it's password......
i leave tomorrow to ATL after over a week of sinful gluttony on oysters, beers, wines, good company, sand, beach , sun, rain......one fish, two fish, loads of fresh fish....oysters, oysters, oyster which every way, and loads more brew...
arrrrr! be damn!
i'm not looking forward to going back.......not against being in the woods...it isn't that.
i feel restless.....
i know i have to find my way thru this.....we are in some ways, a captain of our own ship no matter what sea we sail?
i love my roommates....i love my land......it just gets so damn old......
the beauty of it's isolation is also a curse.
i don't know anyone there that isn't a pill popper, life moaner, self beater....on probation, change hater.....stuck, caged and just fucking bored! and i'm afraid, it's slowly lurking into me......no, not the pill-popping that is......the moaner and self beater.......brrrrrrr.....
i'm a great believer that if something doesn't enhance you mindfully, heart-fully, physically or spiritually, then there's no point in even dwelling, keeping or attempting.
but here or there it is....how do i change this surrounding?
i understand but don't know, i know but can't accept, i accept but don't understand......and the cycle goes on.....
hello.
i'm stuck.
please kick me in the ass.
x marks the spot, a circle and a
dot.

October 11, 2008

i finally got in facebook....got in touch with old friends from back when.....hahahaha! i must admit, as much as it's great like that....there are some things that are best left behind and somewhat forgotten.....
it's strange to see us all grown up.
and i wonder, if i am.
i feel ageless.....yet when i come back from 16 hours shift, i feel like an old bag of ache...
perhaps i will get me a computer this winter? we threw our televisions this spring......winter might be lengthy since growing season is over.....i might be tempted to make my million of hats?!?!?!
i'm on vacation and i find myself on this machine.
go figure!

contemplation

it's been long......i haven't written.
been busy chasing my tail-sorta....trying to keep up with society-sorta.
it's insane...it seems. these day and age, you have to break ur back in order to keep the roof over ur head....
it doesn't make sense any more......it doesn't make sense how a mother or father would have to stay working long hours......and they hardly see their kids.....or if they do, they're not all "there".....tired. worn...all you want is a cold beer to soothe the aching feet....
who ends up raising these kids really? not really you....not really society....they pick thru these debris of events in their lives.....which one means something? which doesn't? who really gets to decide which ones are their's which ones should be discarded....who will be their teachers?
we are on our own in the end. making our way thru our heads and the events before our eyes. we are our own guidance, our own student and teacher.

October 30, 2007

bonjour!

people are capsules floating around space....within the capsules, are each of their own galaxies.
hi! how's you galaxy doin' today?

boobies

why is it that woman aren't allowed to be topless and men can? what's wrong with boobs? what's wrong with nipples?
heard on the news, a lady was kicked out of a restaurant cuz a customer complained that she was breastfeeding her kid there.
a man was interviewed to see what he thought of the whole thing-and he said that she should've went to the restroom and fed her baby there.
Are you fucking kidding me?!?!-mebbe if he's so offended, he should eat his fucking dinner in the restroom himself!
look folks, we've been doing it since the dawn of time. how is this strange?!?!?!?!
anyway,
a friend of mine, told me, a kid in her class calls "boobies" lady-berries. hahahaha! i think that's pretty cool!
boobs are good for you.

October 02, 2007

art show

testing the waters around here.
i did hand in my art pieces last saturday.....i had to make my frames, which is a millimeter crooked but aww well! and planner welded me a stand for my sculpture. everything had become a sudden last minutes shit. had to obsess in the finishing after work. so i didn't get much sleep....blah!
went to the community college and was so amazed at the works there. apparently there had been over 120 artists, each handing in 2 pieces. yes, this is a juried show....and there'll be buyers.....
i'm more interested in meeting other artists-for i've been starved off it near 3 yrs?! a little cash can go a long way though....si'l vous plait!
i've been having a lot of fun with my pieces, i wish i had some picts for you-but that can all wait. i don't think i'll win any money, but i don't think i'll be rejected too.....? who knows.
"today is a new day full of promises and change." has been the mantra this week.
i'll be going to the reception this come sunday....do the chicken dance that ye do oh-so-well! mebbe something will come out of all this.....
hope you a great week yo!
oh by the way: the bear sign this week is about "waiting for the right time in which to unleash...." whatever it is you're suppose to unleash....i need to go look into it.

new job

so i started my new job last saturday and have been working ever since all the way to saturday. it's sorta alright, so far, except i haven't waited tables since 8-9 yrs ago?
it's quite amusing really......i moved out here in the middle of nowhere to be away from-i guess, meaningless silly structure....yet i end up working at a place where i have to wear a uniform....which includes not just the shoes, but the socks as well! hahahahaha! (shhh...i'm in secret rebellion, i wear my stripe witch rainbow socks under my black slacks....ooooh how bad!) hehehehehehe! i have to take out my piercings....only two allowed and it's got to be one on each ear and has to be a stud... tattoos has to be hidden.....which means i'm putting a hold on my sleeve length tat design. booh! one ring, no crazy necklaces...we must all conform, unify into serving featureless robots!
so no skirts, no heals, no bitch boots, no hair in the face......lord, how are we suppose to make tips?
honestly, i don't mind it really, i've been people watching, and running around in false importance amuses me.
i've met some lovely folks....and since we're by the interstate, we're not restricted to just the kuntry folks.
interesting...interesting. there has been dramas here and there, i feel as if i'm this weirdo looking through a window laughing at the hub bubs of life. (hmmm, peeping kuntry?! sounds very disturbing, eh?)

September 21, 2007

summer thoughts

the summer's music theme running in me head was "it's getting hot out here for a pimp...." by Hustle and Flow....no, i don't know the title.....even though i know only the first lyrics, and it played over and over again like a broken record, it fits the over 100 degree weather.
shoooooooey! glad it had finally cooled down....
so what's new? been a looong while. still haven't bought a hard drive or a cable for the laptop...
it's been busy folks....busy.
good news, new news, anyone?
we got us a new roommate, arrived 7-7-07. i'll call him the "thugster" cuz he looks like one....all the long arms, stout body. he looks like he belongs out the alley glaring, scowling at passerby....hehehehe.
everyone's in love with him. he and pantless became fast close friends and planner hangs out with him everyday after work.....i don't know what the big deal is, he mostly eats, sleeps and farts....but darn it! he's so damn cute! mebbe he'll bring luck to the castle seeing that he arrived in america's lucky number 7.
contemplation of the month:
1. perhaps i should change my foreign name to sue-ellen, mary-jo or francine...that way i'd get hired for a job......yes, folks, it's quite sad. i've applied over 20 places and have not gotten hired and i am qualified.....it's funny how skin tones still effects people.....hmmmh?!
had a job interview two days ago and was pumped and ready....the moment i stepped in and saw the lady, i knew by her sudden pursed lips, squint and pretend of snobbery and boredness that she had made up her mind not to hire me.....which was fine, but i was pissed for taking the trouble of being up at 5 am to drive planner to work....etc...etc....
tomorrow is a new day full of promises and possibilities though, i got me another interview.....
(oh i've been busy with me art this summer.....it's been wonderfully satisfying. i got a show this october. have to hand in a painting and a sculpture next weekend....woooohoooo!)
2. read in the paper of the hunting season coming up.....cougar, possum, bobtail, squirrel, skunk?!?! to name the few.....what the? really?
3. thought on going back to school for business. got the brochure, read thru it and yawned at the courses offered...the skool loans idea also did not sit well in me belly.
4. been having dreams of the black bears every now and then. supposedly my indian totem is the black bear.....?-then i've been seeing a lot of black bear news on the tele. i wonder what it all means.
5. lastly for now since it's near closing time.......
is it me or is the world going freakin nuts?

March 17, 2007

howdy

so i find this thing slower and cuz i'm a simple gurl....simple minded (hey don't taunt-it's like making fun of a handicap.) this new system is a little more complicated.
i need a power cord to the apple laptop someone gave me so i can do this shite at home instead of the library.....
sorry to those of you i haven't spied on in a while...but the day will come.....i just don't want to fork the 150 $$ for a stoopid power cord......yet....?!
keep blogging, cuz i read as if i eat...and i like to eat! and one fine day, i will catch up with y'alls.
i had a bit of a lunar aftermath....but now am good.....amazing what the moon can do, eh?
anyway, spring breeze is kissing the tree tips. i'm due june/july and am like a whale. wrestling on this notion that i might have to have this being in a hospital-witch i loathe the idea in a sense it seems they make it like birthing is a very alien and unnatural process.....
pain is part of life as much as it may be so uncomfortable.....but as they say, what doesn't kill, makes us stronger?!
and it is not that i am against the drugs...please! hit me on me head when the pushing starts so i can just black out!....gimme all you got.......maybe?
but when I had pantless, thru the intensity of pain, i hallucinated (?) and saw ancestors around me......and when it was all over (though everything is really just a beginning, right?)-i felt as if i was on top of the world and nuthing in the world could come by that could kick me down and tear me inside out.
It was this pure wholeness being and fearlessness after such and extraordinary event....
someone said, birthing is close to dying......
well, i'm sure as hell, when those wings tore out of the caterpillar, it was no sweet cup cake, right?
this time around, I don't feel as if i fell in a champagne bottle, and some have said i'm a little meaner.....a little fiercer....this being in me seems more angular and by the feel of it, a major kicker. perhaps will one day be the international mvp of the football world? (that's soccer, you dork!)
hahahahahahaha! yes, it's a boy...i found out accidentally during the ultra sound with his pronounce member between its legs.
OH by the way....to circumcise or not? see it beyond traditions or fucking fashion in the western or religious world....honestly, what are the statistic of infection? why the hell does foreskin exist if it don't meant to be there?!?! let me know your gist.....i prefer to leave the choice to the owner...but then it might be too late, they say. WAAAAH! Damn if you do, damn if you don't....what say you?

March 11, 2007

appalachian love

got back from a week on the road to get me car back....took the southern roads to avoid ohio....so i crossed thru the blue grass and west virginia, then up to pa....hugging the appalachian mountains that gave me fond memories and some sad ghosts.
took one of me gurlfriends with me this time......the same gurl i once hitched to cali with-we've become real great friends.
the last ride we had together was back-tracking cali to ga-about 3 and a quartre years ago....and there was a lunar eclipse-which was weird, cuz there was another one on our first night ride.-lawd knowz what that means?!
did i tell you once that my favorite east coast states are upper ga, tennessee, w.virginia, mid pa, vermont, and upper ny? it's so rich with the god/ess handprints there-i love how insignificant one becomes to feel , face to face with the glories of mountains, skies, moon beams,and all the plants.....
we slept at some nice motels-my insurance told me i had 400 dollars to spend....hehehehe? sweet,eh? I could live being paid to travel and sight see.......
on tuesday morning arrived in atl, to help me gurl move out.....being over five months and moving and travelling for a week took it's toll, and when i got back friday night, i slept for three days.......

February 28, 2007

been awhile, eh?
about two weeks ago, had to go to boston.....that's over a thousand miles drive.....had to go to a funeral of a dear friend. 27, and he passed away from a rare form of cancer. i had talked to him 3 weeks before it. planned to see him up there when the winter breaks and the sun gives warmth. he said, "not if i see you first."
smartass!....this boy was a genius....we used to sit around my porch puffing away, talking about how we would make an artificial spherical island/boat/spaceship. he was an engineer, always modifying his car, his computers....just about anything he could get his hands on. i had a roommate who was a fabricator, another a designer.....and i'd say, i was not too bad with my hands...
our plans went in such intricate details, from solar panels, wind powers, salt water filtration system, air filtration thru green vegetation, human compost fuel....etc....etc...
i was quite saddened with his departure...the trip up to boston was long, planner, pantless and planner's bestfriend, b, came with me. we all knew him.
(i will write more of this another time.)
on the way back, there was that wicked storm threatening the northeast. we thought we'd hit the road early before the roads gets too bad. we were about a day and a half early...
weary as ever...we had driven saturday to pick up B, arrived boston at 3 in the morning. the funeral was that noon, and we took off after dinner to head back...stopped in pa and slept at a sweet inn.
next day, drove some more......later i switched to drive as B and pantless slept in the back and planner and i discussed the events passed. there were patches of snow here and there, no blizzard. the sun was out and there was bits of snow on the ground but not too thick.
we were at the pa turnpike, two lanes narrow with a cement barrack to the driver side, and no emergency pullovers except once every few miles.
the roads weren't too cramped, but there were a good amount of semis...i felt that i should stay as far away from them as possible...and at this one moment, cleared off from 6, and a few cars when i must've hit black ice. the car slid diagonally towards the cement wall. i took off the gas immediately and kept the steering wheel straight.
"OH SHIIIT!"
BANG. we spun 360...BANG! and spun 360 and a half again before coming to a complete stop. there was a smell of burnt cigarettes coming from the ac. the engine light came on. i looked to see if there was a semi bearing down to us.
we were in the clear.
unbruised, unbroken but surprised and shaken.....well except for the car.
(to be continued)

new blog

why do i have to switch? it's like finding a couch that you like and got used it....why fix it when it ain't broke?

January 20, 2007

haha

the other day, pantless looked at me earnestly, "you know what panties are?"
"huh? what?" i asked.
"fart pockets."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

hard drive down south

oke...someone decided to take the hard drive down south...to the land of ocean and sunshine...should i be mad? only slightly, since i do need to concentrate in getting me a j-o-b. i'm lookin' for something mindless and robotic...so i can go slightly mad when i get home and attack my canvases....hehehehehe! plus, i need to give brain room to get that environmental/state park test stuff outta the way...can't do that when i'm clogged and fried, right?
so i'm in the public library, folks...hehehehee! i try not to read any suspicious emails sent from friends.....cuz once, i ended up with midget porn opened, splayed and loud on my screen.....everyone looked and i was labeled a pervert....thrown out...it was quite embarrassing....such as, i had to wear a paper-bag on my head for a month, as i strolled around town to do errands. hahahahahaha!
thank god i don't live there any more.
so...i'll be slacking for awhile....do me another chicken voodoo dance so i either get a good pay robotic job or win that 205 million lottery today.....
hahahahahaha! i promise i'd share....
will be checking on you so be good but bad....or something.......
have a good weekend!

January 11, 2007

dr.basement on Rosie O and D Trump

dr. basement: what it is, really, some freak sexual tensions between the two power hungry giants of the media....and it don' matter that rosie is a known lesbian.....they should just have it out....unlease the love! rosie should put trump across her lap and spank him like he wants it! then all will be honkey-dorey!
see what oppression does?!
(hey! what's a gurl to do this late in the night with the munchies, smokeless, friendless, and alco-less? except read trash and join the mass!)

snob-aroos

i got this email from a friend i used to know from fifth grade. she and i used to stick-fight each other pretending that we were ninjas.....she got t-birds and pink ladiez club going once, after seeing "grease"....yes i was recruited, though i secretly wished i was one of the t-birds....leather jackets, slick hair, muscle cars was more appealing to me than wearing pink jackets and lots of hairspray.
anyway....like most kids with parent(s) that are diplomats, she got to travel the world.....and now resides somewhere in canada with family etc......
so we've been back and forth emailing each other now and then thru the evil of myspace. (hahahahaha).....
tonight, i got an email from her with photos of the moon she has taken a few nights ago, with a ring around it.....in her email, she was excited and totally amazed and in complete wonder....why? how? what does it mean?
at first i thought this was some kind of joke....but as i read on, and thought about her. i realize, she was sincere....she has never in her 28 years, seen a ring around the moon!
after some thoughts, and memory of a survey she posted once......such as: the worse thing in the world for her would be: being stuck in a room with someone who didn't speak the same language as she.....and her dream cars were the escalade and hummer......etc.....
i thought....wow! we are soooo totally and completely different. i just can't imagine a day go by without staring out the window to look up at the sky....to catch a sunset....to see if there were stars or meteors shooting on by......
but then, i know, to some, i am completely weird to use a hairdryer, to dry spills, glue or paints instead of my hair......i am completely backward to have never use the dang dish washer machine in my kitchen.....(i think they're shit and one of the most wasteful and stoopid invention ever!)...and many more "retarded" stuff i do......
i am a snob to my opinions....and i must say, quite comfortable with it......
my diva friend thinks i'm rude, rugged and a kuntry bumpkin......hahahahahah! i'm sure there are more she thinks of me and laughs....
....just as she makes me laugh....
the differences in this world that goes around.........

2 stuck trucks


kiddie zen

bali and rukus

black cat

January 09, 2007

feet

i'm no foot fetish but i do think feet are interesting.....and like our hands or our faces, they are individually our own. i thank my flat feet for i heard back in the days, that would be a good reason why the army would not accept me.....i also thank my feet, for without them, i wouldn't have anyone else to carry me around for miles and miles and miles!
today is officially "thank you feet day!"

hummus recipe and la-la

quick recipe of HUMMUS
can of chickpeas/garbanzo beans -drained and rinsed well
about 3-4 big blob tablespoon of tahinni (can add more if you like to your taste)
1 and a half juice from lemons
a sprinkle of salt (to your taste)
4-6 pinches of paprika
about 4 tablespoon of olive oil (can add more if you want)
2 medium size cloves of garlic crushed
throw it all in a food processor or blender......blend it well until almost creamy. if it is too thick and dry looking...add 2 tablespoon of water, a little more olive oil, tahinni and lemon juice.
put in a bowl......garnish on top with a few sprinkle of olive oil, and chopped up parsley.
eat it with pita, or chips, or carrots, radish, cucumber etc....mmmmmmmm enjoy!
how's it going? i'm wishing i had a sunroom...since today the sun was out but it wasn't hot to be running around outside.......so i drew a plan for a sunroom in which there would be hammocks and fat cushions and pillows so one can lay out, still be warm in mid winter....soaking in winter sun. hmmmh?
i didn't go to look for jobs today. thought i'd give it a rest and pour over some math books i borrowed from the library. i'm thinking of taking the TABE test to see what i'd score...some places requires that one be tested in order to work there......i know its gonna be just on basic math....perhaps with a little bit of my loathsome trigonometry. for a good laugh, i also borrowed a book on calculus. see if i remember any of this stuff since...what?! freakin 11 years ago!!!!! HAHAHAHAH!
did i? well they did looked familiar...the calculus shite....but there was no way i could possibly remember formulas unless i wrote it in a cheat sheet....write it in my eyelids.....hahahahah! i highly doubt these places i'll be applying will require any calculus...and if they do....it sure wouldn't be a place for me.....
i did filled out some applications on two commercial art stores...when i asked the lady if there were any other art stores....she said "trees and trends."
"trees and trends?" i exclaimed, "what the? they sell art stuff?"
"yeah....they sell trees." said the lady. what the? i looked at her closely to see if she misunderstood or that she was joking....she was serious. oke, lady.........
the other day, i called around to ask about their birth place and the facilities....one place asked me if i went to church. what the?
is it me? or have i just stumbled upon some fuddy-duddy-weird dimension?
yawn! i'll go to bed and hope this tweak of slight madness will pass.
g'night folks!

January 04, 2007

fate?

i'm not one to really think it coincidence....for i find it hard that a thing could be so....but then, take a step back from the microscope, you find that the world is such an immense place....how could things be so-if not by coincidence?...yet, how could it be so interlaced....intertwined? whichever way, i am always floored with how some things turns out in life...i have quit pondering, and have accept, to shrug, grin and be grateful.
i mentioned i had passed by interview with the fed folks. i wanted to share with you this information.
so i had my meeting 8:45 am...(which was really 7: 45, my time.) planner was called in first to testify that i was no threat to society....no mooch, and have no ill intentions to work and live alongside americans. we had our cyclist irish lawyer with us. he seemed to be a good man and we caught a brief of our personal lives, as we waited together out at the lobby earlier.
it was a good 20 minutes later, when planner came out grinning and chuckling with an elder lady. she called me to her, and i followed thru a corridor and office cubicles. she introduced herself and told me she was going to interview me...i was a little nervous...well, more like i was guarded...just because i tend to say whatever is in motion...in the flow, with ease and somewhat uncensored...and my lawyers had all advised me in being "careful" at what comes out of my rice hole. so i thought to myself..."watch out...keep it sort, to the point! smile...and shut the fuck up!"
i sat down and the lady looked at this huge thick file of me in front of her. she asked me a few questions, and made comments, which seemed not exactly directly at me, but to the irish lawyer behind me...she had an eastern european accent...or perhaps she was czech? i was sure she might be from somewhere around russia...? a couple of more questions which i answered short and sweet....at one question, she asked me if i had been a full time student. i answered yes, for a good four years. but i did not graduate. she peered at me, and i knew i just had to be me and explained just as my rice hole would let me.......
"i have gone to a small private school most of my life.....when i came to the art college. i was floored at how immense it was and the classes it had.....so i took most of the classes i wanted instead of what i needed to get a degree. it was great!....and unfortunately after 4 years, i ran out of money and had to stop going....but i did continue my education. i met a lovely retired professor, and would clean her house, bathe her dog....and in return, she taught me print making." i stopped there...and waited. she smiled. "ah! you bartered! good!" she said. i sighed inside in relieved. she asked me if i was working now. i told her "no" and i was glad she didn't asked me if i worked before......i had a feeling she knew though, for she had specified the "now" part somewhat stronger in tone. she asked me if i had ever been arrested.....my pulse quickened....she looked at me and i looked at her straight into the eyes and said" yes, i have." and i did not say any more.....she dropped her gaze and continued as if...as if nuthing!? THAT part was suppose to be the part that was gonna make me hang inside out, upside down!.....
next i knew, we were standing shaking hands, smiling and she was congratulating me while i was wishing her a happy new year.
i was confused, and i knew it showed. she laughed and said, "what? you think i was going to pinch you? not today!" she said.
we walked out and i was too stunned and disbeliefed....i thought any minute now, there was going to be a trap door under my feet and i would land into the paddy wagon waiting underneath.
"what happened? how could that be it?" i asked the lawyer incredulous. he grinned. "what? did you wrestle her earlier?"
"yea, i had to throw her down." he laughed...then explained that the question did come up earlier in the interview with planner....which was mega weird cuz planner had nothing to do with my arrest. i did however, had gotten a written statement from court that said they had no record whatsoever about it....meaning: in clause something something 17 of the connecticut order something, record that was not kept was probably dismissed or dropped by the judge! they could not hold me down with that.
PHEW! i was glad i did my homework....more so, i was glad that i must've been good in my last life. i knew...they knew...if there had been the slightest of that record......my chances was as close to nil as the fine hair on frog.
so.........we hugged and grinned and beamed.
as we took the elevator back...i mentioned to planner that i had thought of Joan Cobitz, my printmaking teacher (i had posted her ago.), and told the interviewer about taking classes with her. planner grasped my arm. "oh yeah? hahah! that's weird cuz i couldn't stop thinking of her when i walked into that office." he exclaimed. wow! coincidence?
"she was there....it's just got to be....we had her help...how else could it be?" i muttered.....and said a silent thank you....wherever she was!
so there it is folks....in 2-3 weeks i will be getting a card in the mail that sayz i am legalize to work here for as long as 10 yrs....in which i can renew it if i wished...so it's like a visa. i'm thinking of wearing it with an exaggerated huge gold bling-bling chain around me neck and have neon lights blinking around the card just for the hell of it.....hahahahahahaha!
as for that arrest......you're probably wondering.....
it was back in the summer of '89. i just came from jerusalem thru the most tight-ass security in the world, and was in connecticut after a three day concert in ny. i was a passenger in a car that had an expired tag. we were pulled over, and low behold....not one or two but three then four cop cars came.
the driver volunteered to tell the cops that he had pot with him...don't ask me why.......but because of this, the car was then anally searched and viola! in my art box where i keep colors, sharpener, paints, ruler, erasers, markers etc....etc.....they found a knife....not just any knife, they said, but a killer martial arts knife with a blade-chk-chk-chk-chk!-OVER THE FOUR FINGERS count! that was going to give me a felony....and it did not matter that it was not on me...or the fact it was in my art box along with my exacto knife, or sharpened pencils that could be used for stabbing eyeballs....just this knife....a martial art butterfly killah knife!
i was arrested and booked...they made me take off my sandals before i was put in the slammer....just in case i decide to eat my sandals or use it to choke myself. (some safety suicide protocol shite!)
i was miserable but calm. bail was set to $1500 because of the felony charge of that damn knife i use for opening paint canisters etc.....on a brighter note, apparently, it was a good thing i was not a butcher though, right? or a chef! boy, would i be sooooo in trouble if i was.......get this folks, the driver with the heavy loot...and i'm talking about ounces!-his bail was $1000, and he was charged with a misdemeanor......but lets not talk crap about pot, okay? this was about a damn knife.
i got bailed out....went to court, which the judge laughed at me when i wasn't sure which hand was left or right when i got sworned in. he looked at my file incredulous, at the way i was trying to be painted as a dangerous chink knife-welding-felon.
everything was a blur....i had to do community service and report to a jamiacan probation officer who resided in connecticut while i was down south in ga.....he thought this whole thing was a joke and he was kind about the community service hours in which i had to do, since i have been helping out in the community voluntarily both in jerusalem and in ga.
i got to tell you, folks....somewhere out there someone or something has me on their good side. many things could've been otherwise....yet here i am.
i know part of this had been your good energies....good thoughts...that voodoo chicken dance you did?
thanks!
....and there must be something else...whichever it is......
i'm off to go find me a j-o-b! hehehehehehehe!
Happy New Year. I hope all are well and the start of this 07 have been good to yous as well!

January 02, 2007

federal court

HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS! i must say, these few days has been fantastic.....i'd like to thanks y'all for your good energies and perhaps your chicken claw voodoo dance....cuz it worked! i got me work permit! wooooohooooooo......i can "politically correctly" work in america without having to look over my shoulder....hahahahahaha! (well not that i was ever that paranoid...) needless to say, i passed the interrogation by the skin of my teeth, yo!
oke....will write more later....boss just woke up......

December 20, 2006

'nother day in de boonies

so someone decided to give me a hug this morning at 5-ish and then puked on my face....lovely! i had to run a bubbly bath after wiping our faces and stripping the sheets. good thing she didn't eat dinner, or much of lunch the day before, or we'd have us a puke-fest. i am those puke sympathizer......poor me, feel free to feel sorry......feel free to puke in your waste bin afterwards too.....
oke......so, i have this preacher man who comes over every now and then. he used to come over a shite load in the beginning, which at first annoyed the hell outta me.....and i was quite blunt about someone barking up my tree in the name of "their religion".......then planner decided to get friendly-we were new in the neighbourhood and lacking friends at the time......planner is just a nice guy whose innocence at times makes me want to lick.....lick.......uh? lick a mile of wasabi.... how'z that?
anyway....so they come and they'd have a pray-fest together, while i hide in the other room chanting.....(just kidding!)....i WOULD be in the other room. there was just something weird about those fellas...and they usually come in twos or threes....sometimes in fours..... strength in numbers, as they say, eh?
it's just weird.....i get the small hairs in the back of my neck standing every time they're by...and my three dawgs go berserk....but then, my dawgs are heathens.....pagans.....whatever....and i'm just as much an odd ball. (grin.)
as i said once before, i really have nuthing against religion, but it does bother me, if one tries to shove it down my throat....you know? aggressive converters!
i think religion is a very personal thing....you may choose to find it, choose to explore, to learn...or at times, it finds you......but to go out of your way to convert someone is just weird...it makes it seem false....like their decision, becomes somewhat tainted....by peer-pressure or whatever......
for me, i would think, if god had something to say to me, god will happily kick me on my behind.....i don't need no man telling me what god wants me to hear.
i've also had an argument with a rastahman once....he said, without man, a woman cannot find her spirituality....i bout near choked on my bottle of beer on that one!
i understand the ying and yang in life....well, as best as i can understand it at this moment anyway....i do think....feel, that the spirit of life.....your conscious and subconsciousness flows a certain way with the whole consciousness of the world, and the "higher self".....greater it is to learn it your way, that you get a better understandment of it, than to just follow as sheep.
life is not about beating ourselves up black and blue for what we may have done or our ancestors did, in the past.....and it's not about obsessing in what tomorrow may bring that it deprives you from you life at the moment....it's a balance of both but more that you should be in the now...to cherish it...to live it whole and consciously. you can't well change yesterday, but you can learn from it. you cannot write tomorrow-for it hasn't happen-though you can work on it today for perhaps tomorrow.....?
what? what?
anyway....so the preacher man and his follower came today and caught me home alone....he had a package for planner and pantless. we made polite small talks....and he asked if i wanted them to pray for anything this christmas.....i said, "oh the usual, please.....world peace will do since it hasn't happen." (i wasn't being sarcastic, yo!) "and just being grateful." then preacher man wanted to pray together in the dining room before he goes on to try and convert more pagans.......i felt funny but i suppose it doesn't hurt? so i bowed my head and he prayed....and he said, " in jesus name i pray, amen." and i added like, those kung fu films....i said, "buddha's name be praised, amen!" it came so naturally. this has been our grace every now and then when we remembered. i caught the preacher and his follower grimaced and sneered as they beat a hasty retreat.
i gather, as it was uncomfortable for me at first, i think it became awkward for them later. but hey.....if i'm gonna tolerate this, they might as well too.
so, that was my today. how was yours?

December 19, 2006

second skin

i decided to get a pair of clean jeans today.....since i made a little bit of money from the bookcover. my pants are either stained, worn and 90% with holes....i thought i'd try and look nice for the interview.....
i went to this store and tried on one......yes, just ONE...and they fit just right...i wear my pants baggy, but i thought i'd try something a little more fitting but not snug. snug anything makes me feel claustrophobic....this is why i can never wear turtle necks...i'd freak out and fight it as if someone was strangling me!....ok...with the exception of panties. you just gotta wear panties that fit, right? and in that category, i like those underwear shorts...like boxers almost, but more snug and gurly....
i can never wear tongs.....lord no! never!...i tried and it's most unflattering!...ofcourse due to my assless-ness! i looked like a sad assless sumo wrestler in tongs....i am not kidding! and unfortunately, i'm one of those who can't have anything wedged between my butt cheeks. it makes me pick.....not very attractive for sure.....
so there....i went and shopped....i also got planner a lucky leprechaun t-shirt for when he goes skateboarding....he does look like one when he grows out his mane......i bought my bruther a rednek logo t-shirt....cuz he's always making fun of me....and i bought pantless a velvet red dress i knew she'd love.....she's got a thing about putting on a dress and it makes her dance around like some sort of ballerina priss......no, she DID not get it from me!....all together, i spent under 50 bucks....hahahahaha!
oh! i forgot to mention....when i was in the dressing room, i was amazed at my growth of thighs and waistline...damn! i need to lay off the chocolates, i thought amused. the munchies from bun and smokelessness is getting it on....but i'd imagine too, it's cuz i've ben inconsiderably lazy with myself.....queen bee once said to me, it's cuz this year i'm not allowed to work...(lawyer's firm suggestion, folks!).....and it's sorta shutting down my motivation etc.....she said a person needs a sense of worthe......something that makes 'em get up early in the morning and go whistling to work like the 7 dwarfs.
hmmmmmm?
i told her it's winter and i'm from the black bear clan-or so the native indian book says i was...and so it' s hibernation time....hahahahaha!
yes, although it hasn't been so cold....i can't wait for my hearing on the 28th...and if all goes well, perhaps i will be whistling the "off to work i go" tune from those dwarfs.

scarface

December 12, 2006

hungry and contemplating

holy shit! i'm huuuuungry! you wouldn't believe how much i've eaten in the last week. i've got the munchies like there's no tomorrow!
keep on like this, i'll have to roll around in a shopping cart to move. you betcha my waistline is expanding unattractively.
anyway...so far the coldest it has been was 8...what's that? in fahrenheit, right? celsius? what does the american use?
anyway, this year there hasn't been any snow. last year we had a blizzard on turkey day. sorta suck as i have been looking forward to making snow sculptures outside.
other news....the two boyz got the truck stuck out in the back and got it sooo deep in too! they're waiting for the next door neighbour to haul it out with a tractor. hehehehehe-i'm gonna sneak out there tomorrow morning, jack the truck and put wood planks underneath the tires....see if it'll work...and if it does, i'm not going to say anything. last time we got the car stuck in the mud....two boys pushed and grunted and pulled and cussed for a good hour. i poked me head out and told them to let out some air from the tires.
it worked like a charm!.....mind you, when you get a car stuck then unstuck, keep it moving to good ground so it doesn't get stuck again. i think the hardest stuck i've ever encountered was on desert sand. that shit is a bitch, and there was no planks around to get the tires to grip. we had to have a bus pulled us out.
took queen bee to the airport last monday and as much as i love her, i was glad to see her off. she was driving me barking mad after awhile......i don't know what it is. i haven't been a super bitch since i was a teenager.....i would imagine it's a combination of everything.....?
but it's good that she's off to see her man, the king bee. i'm convincing them to send me some middle-eastern goodies over......some exotic coffee and spices would be quite nice....and I'd like to get a new bongo since me sistah broke mine......that last part is surely not gonna happen though.
can you tell i've got really nuthing interesting to say? hah! i took a siesta today and i don't know what to do with meself.
ok...here's some contemplations:
-is there no end in boob growth?
-if women have to carry and give birth to human larvaes, it is only right that men have boobs and have to breastfeed them! (i must have a chat to the g-o-d about that there one day!)
-how do those tv ladies get their tits so perfectly round and symmetrical in those cleavage hugging dresses? i mean they look like two perfect round bowls!
-is it necessary to chop a tree and haul it in your house to decorate them-only later to throw it away? why not just plant one and freakin decorate it every year?!
hmmmmh?

December 11, 2006

ramblings

hi there! long time it seems. i've been unmotivated to get down and write....though in me weird head, i'd be thinking of things i wouldn't mind blogging.....well!
i finally finished the book cover for this gurl's religious/spiritual book of poetry. it took me awhile to get started. it's simple as far as it goes and there are things, quite personally, that i'd like enhanced but deadline is a bitch.....i did talked her out of having the "face of god" description from the book of revelations as the cover. taking it "literally" and just making it visual, came out a bit disturbing for me.....as i believe the words were meant as metaphors.....and understood best that way....so instead, i visualized her title.
she seemed excited and satisfied and wants other works done for logos and postcards etc.....
cool.
it was fun to dust out my mind.
ok....moving on.
i got a call from my ins lawyer today. i will have me greencard interview on dec. 28th. hehehehehehe! she suggested that she came along-though it is my choice. there's a little bit of past complication that might run smoother with her there. but that would mean i'd have to fork her a grand and extra for expenses. "sigh"-come on now! i've paid near five grand as it is including that xtra 44 dollars she charged me cuz she sent me a fed ex-which really was NOT necessary.
mind you, she's a nice lady. but i do believe, lawyering is a business. the way i see it too, if the govt has made up his/her mind not to give me a greencard, it would really make no difference then and there if i had an attorney with me, no?-besides, having an attorney would mean i've got something to hide.....i don't. take me as i am.....let me work to feed my midgets, man!
you think?
then again, if i am denied and get deported, a grand will take me a good way for a bit in a third world kuntry.
i'm not worried....just thinking of my possibilities. i do hope things run on smoothly and that the paddy-wagon is not waiting.
me needs to make some good mullah for that sailboat......
wish me lucks, eh?!

December 03, 2006

da cheese car

t'was two days before the turkey rush of america, all the highways were jammed packed and had to go to atl to pick up an israeli visa at their consulate de generale. grrrrrr.....what shoulda been 4 hours turned to 7.5 hrs. the weather was real nice though and the brilliant queen bee assured us, thru my arguments to call, that she can just run in there and get it.
as it turned out, we should've called for they only open for visas at certain times. she also argued to go to the airport and asked about her tickets, which i had told her were expired and no good....how do i know this? for i have called the airline when she couldn't make the flight....etc...etc....it had only a six mnths validation time-which was used up!
but we made it thru the horrible 6 lanes, jammed packed, crawl speed, to the airport to sate her.
yes m'am, 'tis tickets are no longer good!
i bit my tongue and we drove looking for an illusionary mexican restaurant my bruther knew of. ended up at "six feet under" with decent fish tacos. got a motel, and finally, i was happy and forgiving as i jumped on the beds with pantless for hours.
hehehehehehe!
the next day, we got the dang visa and made our way to the international farmer's market. i bought me a duck. dead frozen duck, that is.....and a bunch of beautiful scented basils i wanted to put in my hair.
my bruther decided to back into a lady's car with my car and i couldn't quite be pissed, for an accident at a parking lot beats an accident in the highway madness, no?
still, my car looked quite sad and my insurance premium is not going to look good.
blaaaaaaaaaaaah!
on the ride back, i marveled at the sight of such lengthy traffic coming from both opposite lanes. it looked like christmas lights snaking lengthy whites and reds on the other side. "so, can we reuse all these car parts or what?" i thought out loud.
"mebbe some but most just gets crushed and dumped in landfills." said my bruther. "considered hazardous to reuse...."
"holy shit! really? that's a freakin load of cars!" horrified! then i thought, even to recycle stuff, takes alot of energy and produce alot of waste. damn if you do, damn if you don't! "i say cars should just be made of a material that gets better with time....like cheese! and perhaps runs on wine or whisky....the smoke that comes out should help it flavor the cheese.....like smoke cheese or somethin'.....when you're done with the car, you can just eat it!"
"i don't know about having the road and dust contact with food....or that people sitting on food sounds very appetizing....."pondered the smartass.
"well....perhaps it can be contained in a sort of thing....uhhhh....like sausage skin thing! yeah! hahahahaha! that way it keeps it kosher! eh? imagine being in a cheese car crash! i'm sure because it's softer than metal or plastic, there wouldn't be as much horrible injuries!" hahahahaha! i was pleased at myself. then i said, "wow, see? i was just captured by aliens to see the future just now..."
humh!

December 02, 2006

smokeless me

so i noticed the saturday i went out for a bday binge, i didn't drink as much as i would've. don't get me wrong, i wanted to get irritatingly smashed! heheheheheh! but i found after my second brew, i'd have the urge to gag......hmmmmm?!
so i settled with the fact that my body just did not feel like consuming much......
i started getting a sea-sick feeling at nights. not too bad, but enough to noticed and want to just lay out in bed.....
heheheheheheh! but the biggest hint i got was the damn crocheting binge. that had happened two times before, and each of those two times.......there were evidence i might be baking unplanned bun(s) in the oven.
heheheheheheheh.............
the gods are laughing at me!
this time though, i feel alot better about it. i can't imagine pantless growing up alone without having someone to rightly wrestle her. and i feel i'm in the right moment of age. though i had a calling for it last year in x-mas....hadn't felt ready....hadn't felt balanced...such as, i'm sure that was why i miscarried.
no worries....
so folks......this time around, (if all are good and well) i'll take the drugs, i think....(hehehehehehe!) copious amount please! "natural" my brown ass! there is nuthing natural, feeling and squeezing a human larvae out of your lovelies......it had felt as if i were to have had my elbow bent the wrong way!
oh! and i am VERY PLEASED to let ya'lls know, i've been smoke-free about a little more than 2 weeks. how? i don't know! my body just clicked and i just stopped. any cravings? honestly....no. isn't that weird?!...it must be the alien taking possession of me.....
well....well....well.....i haven't written in awhile, and i've probably lost you readers.....but just to let ya'lls know, i'm alive and kickin......SMOKELESS too! hahahahahahahah! and i hope you are just fab-u-lous!

November 28, 2006

da city

city-hives

November 26, 2006

squares

November 20, 2006

a cousin's love.

decked out and ready.....the bell went ding and the mosque howled in their splendor.
she's 19 and now married to her first love. they've known each other for ages, in the baked tropical sun. i wish her and her man many happy days, abundance of growing love and pitter patters of cute kids....eventually...the kiddo part, that is. always nice to have an extended honey-moon, no?
hehheheheheh!

November 18, 2006

uhu...

this thang is awesome......"log, log, l-og....all we need is log!" (what's that diddle from? ren and stimpy?)
i swears it! this lincoln logs gives me fabulous ideas!....i only regret that it doesn't come with more parts. i might have to whittle some when the snow sets in.....hmmmmm....educational, no? gives me ideas of how i want a log cabin built one day.
oke....i just bought some front and rear brake pads.....an air filter, spark plugs, brake fluid, brake cleaner and lubes, bleeders etc.....about freakin' time! i need to go and whip the boys to work. hahahahaha!-OH! and how did i afford the $160.00 car parts bill?
thanks to your positive energies and good wishes, that mr. hum-haw attorney paid me my money back PLUS $100.00 interest. yeeeehaw! i've got stuff still set aside, to buy me lovely roommates custom built skateboard, a playground set and perhaps have enough left over to get me an ass-kickin' bitch boots!
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooouu!-i also paid all the dang bills this month on time....INCLUDING the tag and registration plus property tax car crap that came unhappily at $160-on my dang b-day.....the tag and registration was only 15 bucks and the rest was property tax....could you believe it?!...hah! neither can i but that's how the cookie crumbles!
anyway folks, i've been evaluating my life and going thru some strange changes. that's why it's been scarce of an entry. i'll try to write more when the fresh urge arise.
for now,
have a fab-ulous weekend and keep it warm.........

November 14, 2006

test.

bored? here's something you can fill out and go figure. i scored 42-46. is it true? hmmm.....?
Read on, this is very interesting, but don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate. And it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself.
Answers are for who you are now......not who you were in the past.
This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 simple questions,so lets go ...
Dont' cheat now! Just scroll down and add up your points at the end and post what ya scored if ya feel like it. It’s only 10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers to each question. Ready?? Begin.
1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night
2. You usually walk…
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly
3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with. ..
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you
5. When something really amuses you, you react with…
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering you …
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed
7. You’re working very hard, concentrating hard, and you’re interrupted…
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white g) brown or gray
9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are. ..
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are…
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant
POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS : Others see you as someone they should “handle with care.” You’re seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don’t always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS : Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who’s quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS : Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who’s constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who’s extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn’t want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don’t exist. Some people think you’re boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren’t.

November 12, 2006

lone sat night.

yeach!
a saturday night and we went to a bar we found on the net. sempri fi! we told ourselves we shouldn't tell anyone we grew up in the muddle-east...as they might whip our asses.....
all went well.....they got the music pumpin.....a few rambucious dancers. i say, "its ma burthdey, and i'll dance me night away!"
absolutely!
boogied on down as if its the last thing in the world....
like a fish out of the pond....like a worm wriggling in the sun....
had me virtual sunglasses on! i say! i have been locked up, shot down, tied and feathered! you can't be catchin on.....hopped and skipped from perverted grips of unknown faceless men.....
tonight is mine, and mine alone.
closed me eyes and swayed like a freak without bones....standing all alone...and felt oh! so! good!
do you? have you? could you?
yes you can!
some folks go out waiting. some folks go out a-searchin'.
i slithered into and thru the shadows .
egotistical? maybe. self absorbed, maybe.
the care left behind.....just to be on your own, for a moment....
a few hours, perhaps....
and cha-cha on down the floor and slithered on back again...without a care.
not for you, not for them...but that beat under your feet, that song heard in your heart, that rhythm in your mind.
and they gawked, and they laughed, but they become only dancing lights of the stars.....as you wiggled on, all night long,
all alone.
....and then it was time to go.
aching feet, bubbled mind.....a satisfied smile of the heart.
you are back again as before.
but rested and freed,
once more.

saturday night posers

(pictures temporarily taken down)

November 10, 2006

ass spanking day!

it's an ass-spanking-good day folks! the kind where one wears something stretchy on the ass area, so you can stoop a little-redefining the bulk of ass curve, and you give yerself an ass smack-YEOUCH!
...know why? cuz yesterday and today-the weather is soooo good! you tell everyone to skip work and go frolic in the meadow....it's tank top weather here....and tis a friday-which i like to consider-a weekend already!
plus....i turn 60 on monday...well....not really, but it could just be? i wanta get plastered and ride me a supermarket cart on home.
tis queen bee's bday today....i'm gonna spike her drink, and see if she'd sing me a ballad in the moonlight. hehehehehehehe!
well...well....not much else to say really. but i'm hoping y'alls are enjoying the good weather too....even if it maybe grey and raining, put on yer sunglasses, wear a fake flower necklace and sip you a margarita...or warmed sake....
hahahahaha!
have a great weekend!

November 08, 2006

belgium luv.

he was a grade lower but in all the advance classes. we had french classes together-though i have no idea why he was put there. his french was fluent, coming from belgium..... i was struggling with my grammar. i really suck at this thing....all my life, i learnt arabic, hebrew and french....i have nothing to show for it...accept the occasional yes and no....and cuss words.
....it started at a friend's birthday picnic. that's how we got to talking....playing in the monkey bars-you can never be too old or too young to hang upside down on a monkey bar.
it's funny how you can work or play at the same area, and not really know someone-even after years....and then one cosmic fart, there you are, with lives somewhat intertwined.
so it started there....he walked me to my apartment, which was a good two hours away. i can't remember how it later went....but we ended up talking for hours outside my apartment...watching the desert moon rise and feeling the dry heat of the wind teasing and caressing. he had to call his driver to come pick him up....i can't remember if we kissed that night or not...but i knew the attraction was mutual.
somehow it blossomed some, as any young inexperienced love could blossom.
we spent times above, on the rooftops of jerusalem city, making out....yes, i don't know how we figured....or found out....but we'd take the stairs to several buildings, then climbed up to the roof tops.....it's amazing up there, you can see the spread of city lights. that exotic feeling of mystery, seclusion, belonging not with the world, just each other, that which only seemed to matter.
once we hit jackpot....someone had laid out plush cushions and a sofa with blankets on this one roof top. and we went there several time, a refuge.
once we got stuck after making out at a stopped elevator.....it was kindda freaky. the inhabitants weren't pleased to rescue us. once someone walked in on us at an abandoned apartment, and we fled, giggling and flushing with sparkles in our eyes.
we were opposites. he was an academic genius, with a very close knitted family. somewhat of an only child, due to the fact his brother and sister were eons older than he was. he was one of the star athletes in basketball, and a bit of a teacher's pet.-his life seemed simpler and organized-he knew what he wanted, and he was good at it. his dad was the numero uno honcho, in one of the u.n. organizations there....-hahahaha! i used to give him cracks about his man-servant (butler) and his driver.
whereas, i felt my life was always in some mass of tangles and chaos. i was rebelling at home, and it wasn't very pleasant.....i wasn't getting along with the teachers in school.....and the only time i actually felt awake, was in my art classes.
like any young loves, we shared what we did, intensely and hungrily....yet, time ticked and tocked, we were too young. we were searching, we were exploring. and one pretty day, with the sky so deceivingly blue, we parted.
he moved away to belgium.....he went to school in montreal. i only hear this years and years later, when he searched me in yahoo, and found my email.....i was in my 3rd year of college, going thru the usual struggle of a college student.....immense amount of work to do, bills piling up, not enough money, and with a somewhat irritating, distracting live-in boyfriend.
we chatted a bit, and unfortunately, we soon lost contact.
just a few days ago, i was browsing in my highskool alumni....and there he was, in name, picture and email. rush of old fond, young, and amusing memories swept thru me.
i emailed him wondering if it was him.
he wrote back warm and surprised, giving me a brief of his life.
it's weird.....this cosmic fart again. our lives are not intertwined, though we used to walk parallel to each other. what is it, that causes us to bump each other, like we do? what karma? what purpose?
i suppose, for me, it's nice to say a hello, at an old aquaintance. it is good to know, that they are alive and kickin......and partly, it's like a small piece of you, somewhat forgotten, that arises into your mind demanded to be acknowledged. that this small piece, even if it may not be so significant, played a role, into what you became today....or may become, tomorrow.
the mystery of the cosmic fart.

November 06, 2006

immigration problem.

ok, so the US spends a shite load of money on trying to keep aliens away....they are building a wall across the mexican borders....spending billions!
i can understand the bad apples, making it very difficult for those that are striving to survive-for a better future...for their families and themselves....
i can understand the means necessary for security.....
seriously though, these fences, will not help! lookit the berlin wall...lookit china's history during mao....(i highly suggest reading this book: "daughter of the swan"-brilliant! a sort of docummenatary of 4? generations chinese family.)
the usa are made of folks from around the world....dang it! just ask where your ancestors are from. if anyone has any right for a say-so...it would have to be the american native indians. no?
i, an alien with a brown nek-highly suggest inviting mexico to become part of america....or america become mexico! (grin!)
VIVA! heheheheheh! you have plethora of spanish speakers as it is, and don't tell me you don't want tortilla, pico de gallo, burritos...or sombrero and tequila! yeeehaw!
why not? both kuntries would gain nicely from each other! imagine more beaches!
look, i understand we all should be careful who we invite to our home. i mean, i wouldn't want no crackheads in my porch too!
there is a saying "the fence that we build to keep people out, keeps us in."
there must be a better way to protect ourselves....it has to start in your neighbourhood....a community where we can help and watch each other....i don't mean being nosey-but i do mean there is a freakin BIG PROBLEM, when your neighbour dies, and you only figure that out three months later!!!
i wouldn't know really, how one could solve terrorism...but for sure, it ain't gonna solve by being a terror yourself. hate breeds hate!....fear, hunger, and desperation breeds violence!....let's start from somewhere here, eh?
we were borne in our skin...nekkid as can be....we will die nekkid too...you can't be taking that bling-bling and cellphone with you, my friend...
this Earth has been here before us....we need to give Her the respect....She brings and takes Life as it is....obviously, we are not Her master! we belong here....not, She belongs to us!
there is plenty, when we can share.....and with that, there would be no hunger.....in body, and soon, in spirit.
so lets stop smashing brains....lets share what we can......

setting sun

which infamous criminal am i?

Which Imfamous criminal are you?

You are the Marquis Da Sade. Even stripped of exaggerations,
Your real life was as dramatic and as tragic as a cautionary tale. Born to an ancient and noble house, you were married (against your wishes) to a middle-class heiress for money, caused scandals with prostitutes and with your sister-in-law, thus enraging your mother-in-law, who had you imprisoned under a lettre de cachet for 14 years until the Revolution freed you. Amphibian, protean, charming, you became a Revolutionary, miraculously escaping the guillotine during the Terror, only to be arrested later for publishing your erotic novels. You spent your final 12 years in the insane asylum at Charenton, where you caused another scandal by directing plays using inmates and professional actors. You died there in 1814, virtually in the arms of your teenage mistress.You are a revolutionary deviant. I applaud you.


go to :http://www.quizilla.com/cgi-bin/result/result.pl and take your quiz

November 03, 2006

today.

today is an important day.
today, planner will get his overdue evaluation...i hope that the gods be good and grant him what he is deserving. such pride, care and intelligence, he deserves a good raise so he can buy that skateboard he's been dreaming of....and it'll be nice to get a few extra so we can stuff our face in celebration at a sushi restaurant......
mustn't count the chickens before they hatch....but dreams are good to have.
whatever. i must just thank the gods that we have a roof over our heads and we have been able to enjoy the lazy days of fishing. what more can one really ask for?
but he deserves to put his callous boot feet up...yes indeed!
and today, i'll be driving 170 miles to get my physical. this, i think, is the last bits, before the call to get me legit for work. hehehehehehe! i hope all goes well. i've been run dry for all the money i have to spend for this crap! soon if the sun shines right, and the blue sky above me fairs well, i'd get my card and get me a j-o-b. heheheheheheh! i'm giggling like a freako in excitement.
so here here....to this day of anticipation......
may the gods be good.....

a day in the park.

yesterday we checked out the new skateboard park. planner is a skater and not too shabby, although a tad rusty from years not wheeling around....he said that he'd get nervous if we watched, so i told him we'd hide in the bushes....
we went to a kiddie park for pantless. it was freezing cold! i had on a carhartt thick coat, a sweatshirt and shirt-it was still too cold for me tuckus.
played a bit....we climbed the monkey bars etc....and i thought it'd be really cool if one day i built one right in our tv room.....ofcourse, it'd be extra comfortable....like a fort with trampoline, padded walls, hammocks etc......i'd have to break down the walls to make it spacier, and why not a glass roof that can open up in nice days.....have trees growing too.....
"sigh"-too much thoughts......too much of this cursed imagination- is not gonna get me any where.
but it would be cool, no? i must add a water slide too that goes to immense pool that can be heated?
ok i'll stop right here.
anyway, we came upon a slide and some dumbass pervert had scrawled something so inappropriate: "lookin for white p***y. if you want a black d**k, leave your name and number here."
you betcha i was horrified and fuming! and since pantless has been learning to identify different abc's-she points the letters one by one, stuttering to identify them. then she stopped at the end and looked at me with pride. "what does it read?" she asked.
i couldn't come up with anything clever of a white lie. i fell in frustrated silence. planner took out his knife and started scraping the uglies off the plastic slide like a good citizen that he is.....

what an idiotic pervert! i had a great mind to put a phone number of a cop-though i didn't know any cops...or perhaps freed cellmate lonely bubbah.....but that too wouldn't've been good.....what would've made me happy was to catch the culprit and spank that person over my knees with a cricket bat unkinky.....
what has this world come to?

November 01, 2006

halloween.

what does this mean to you?
i never knew about halloween until i went to american skools....though i knew different cultures and kuntries have their own -somewhat similar version of this day.
personally, i'd like to think it as the day of the dead....a celebration of our ancestors passed, yet not totally forgotten. i like to think that it is because of them, that we are here....it is because of them, that there is a well of wisdom within us, that comes thru in our moment of trail and tribulation....the flicker of light that gives us the courage to step up......
i also like to think, this is the time when the crops has been harvested....the turn of leaves on the trees has nearly all fallen off (depending where you live.)-the Fall moment, when everything on earth seems to be tucked, by the heaven, readying it into a sweet slumber....a moment of reflexion....
there is thanks giving.....but i like to think, although it is an every day thing, it comes specially in Fall....when all circles of life seems very well defined...the come of ending from a beginning....the come of beginning of an ending.....
ahhhh...lovely! how life has it all, for us to contemplate.
thank you ancestors! thank you heaven and earth.

trick or treat?



October 30, 2006

in brief.

flew a spiderman kite....fantastic day for it.
made my 8th freakin winter hat, and wondered if i'd get arthritis....
went on a good hike.
thinking about the spirit of halloween.
made tofu burritos...not very good.
an old x from 9th grade contacted me...fancy that?!
made an appt. for my physical this friday-insurance will not pay for it. will have to cough up 300 dollars to catch up on my vaccinations...perhaps i'll skip and just give a little lick to a public phone, and see if i build my immune?....eww!
got a rejection letter from an art buyer. whooohooo!
got hired to do a book cover, depicting god's image....hmmmmm? not sure yet if that is kosher/haram...i might get struck by lightning.....we'll see.....
made a bunch of work thingy for pantless to identify different letters. and recognizing different numbers...so far she's doing grrreat though she'd rather draw....hahahahahah!
thought of a new art project.
bored out of my ass.
how're you guyz doing?

exercising caution.

"wolf creek"....taken place in australia boonies.....i couldn't watch it all the way. the scene when one of the females were chained up by that freako, i walked out. have you seen this?
well i was sleepy, and i found myself with annoying thoughts.....robbing me off some sweet dreams. thinkin....thinkin....
remember that gurl that was studying about forensic science up in ny? how she was going back home from the bars....she went missing for awhile and was then located dead....after hours of tortures and rapes?
then there was that virginia gurl up in vermont, who too, disappeared and was found dead a week later.
not faceless to me. it hit me hard in thoughts of what they must've felt....what their families were and are feeling.....
this is a horrible post...but i think, much necessary.
i can't imagine the monsters that can do a thing like so, to another human....but it is happening everywhere...if not here, there....or there or there or there!
it's peculiar....i've travelled by myself alot....and been to shady places in the dead of the nights....these thoughts occurs to me sometimes. but fear or paranoia is what keeps us alert and cautious. (remember this, please!)
it is essential, that we never ignore our "gut" feelings. it is there, a "sixth" sense, that will keep you and i, hopefully never to fall victim.
now, i'm not saying we should all strap ourselves with shotguns everywhere we go....(though this would help?)-but more likely, you would shoot your own self or innocents......!
i think about our children....and the cold grip in my heart is unbearable....to think what could or may happen to them.
ofcourse, we can't live in paranoia...for this only attracts and feed the???? but i think, we all should exercise cautions.
many a times, i have had a gut feeling about something, and choose to walk a different path-that i feel, and know, did saved me! there is this one occasion, i'd like to share with y'alls...cuz i think this might mean something....or teach us.....
once i was in seventh grade...after a great game of soccer in the park with my good friends....it was coming dusk. and i was making my way back home which was a good 25-35 minutes away. (it's so natural...we all do this alot. and this neighbourhood was familiar and safe... even if this was in jerusalem.) alot of my friends lived in the different sides of the block, and this was not a city....it is a residential sprawl....we all do it....walk thru our neighbourhood feeling quite safe.
well....
a friend of mine walked half way. we were in somewhat equal distances to our house. hers was to the right, mine was to the left.
we came into a sort cut that we usually hiked thru a hillside, in the day time or night. there were bushes and such but there was hardly a lamp post. i had a great pull to go thru that way....but for some reasons that was "taught logically"-it's almost night fall....take the long cut lit up that seemed "safe." i debated this myself for i felt a peculiar feeling in my gut....
i brushed it aside and parted with my friend to go to the lit walkway on home.
passed a couple of buildings, staying on the walk path....the lamps were all lit. i noticed the shadowed areas between the lime buildings to the one story small garbage building that they have on the left, with the kerb in between. i'd walk fast thru the shadows.
i kept having this gut feeling that made my hair stood up, and i was wondering if i should have gone thru the shortcut hillside....
just then, as i was walking thru the next shaded area, a shadow loomed out in the dark, startling me. i walked passed the boy real quick, almost to a trot, and as i passed by him, he grabbed me in the most uncomfortable way, below my ass!
obvious that we are surrounded by residential sprawl, in which careful inhabitants by nature, would come to investigate if i pierced the silence with a scream.....i found myself turning around numbed after a yelp and felt the adrenalin filled my being.....i kicked, scratched and pounded in surprised and anger cussing the life outta him. ( it felt all rubbery and surreal.)
i can tell in my split of shock, he was also shocked at my reaction....i sprinted off fast as i could into the lamped areas, cutting away from the kerb, into the quiet road, and ran as fast as i could with the adrenalin fueling me......i think it was a minute, when i heard him take chase and i yelled curses as i ran on faster.....down to the stairs, which i realized, the lamps there had gone out and the residential building was more gaped.
the steps were those lengthy ones that makes you walk up one foot...walk level with another foot, than step up again with the other foot....but as i ran in stretched lengths, i went two steps at a time, in neck breaking speed....everything focused and cleared.....i kept on and heard his footsteps died away.
i ran on the distances home, even when it felt safe already........i had gotten back in less than 13 minutes than the 25 minutes if i hadn't had wings.
was still pumped and everything was surreal...my whole body shook even as i tried to look calm coming thru the door.
i called up my friend i had parted. she was home and safe...."are you okay?" she asked. i started to sob a little and told her what happened. "oh my god! tell your mom!" she said.
"no...i can't....she wouldn't let me out of the house if i do." i started to laugh, incredulous at what i just said.
well there folks.....you never know, really. i was lucky, i suppose...anything could've happened that thankfully didn't.
i say to you now, listen to your gut feelings.....sometimes we can't help but find ourselves in a dodgy situation. i say, be prepare. carry mace...or tobasco spray....just in case? sometimes we can't avoid a situation, but i do hope, we'd all be able to at least, put up a good fight!
i thought of pantless as well as the little children in the world....i know we can't prevent at all they may have to go thru....but i hope we can prepare them to do what they can to defend themselves in case a monster crossed their path. it takes a village to raise a kid, no? but monsters come in different shapes and forms.
we can't live in paranoia, but we shouldn't be blind....and we have ways to at least, prepare ourselves?
i'm lookin into some martial arts skool for pantless......(grin)-as boxing is just a form-wouldn't hurt for this little one to learn another.......
though i pray with all my being, that our children will be safe forever......